Got me intendin' emotions...

I'm not yet ready to weigh in on Ran's thoughts on freedom. The concept is central to Bookchin, and for him the definition of such a concept includes the history of that concept - including in this case freedom to act ethically: acting in the general interest, and acting to foster elaboration on the potential diversity and freedom around us. The recursive nature of this reminded me yesterday of Will Crichton, whose ideas on individuality are similarly recursive. And so, last night, after S had stopped answering my messages; after I went round to find out face to face, and her new partner opened the door...after initial reactions it was to Will Crichton's book I turned.

Central to Crichton's Foundations for a New Civilization is the cultivation of attitudes rather than the solving of problems; attitudes being intentions to have a particular feeling towards an object. This passage:

In false pride or shame one feels superior or inferior to others in one's community. In true pride or shame one feels a gain or loss of individuality in one's participation in a community. The emotions of superiority and inferiority have the effect of setting members of the community against one another.... The healthy emotions have the effect of encouraging them to support one another. True pride and true shame are the cornerstones of a healthy moral community and the teachers of undistorted sociable love and honour.

... helped me realise, first that even in crisis moments it is okay to philosophise about emotions, and also that my feelings of loss of this seven year dalliance can be distinguished from the question of whether it is (or has been) appropriate for me to feel shame at aspects of the way I've treated S and others.

That in turn reminded me there is debate over whether there even is such a thing as healthy shame. And so this morning over coffee I turned to Martha Nussbaum's Anger and Forgiveness, where I found this:

Moving on without grief means having a disjointed or patchwork life; and so the most important reason for grieving is forward-looking; it draws attention to a very important commitment that should remain embedded in the narrative understanding that a person has of her own life, and communicates to others. It expresses a deep aspect of who that person is.

Around when I read this, my Dad and aunt each called to wish happy birthday. I told them briefly about S having a new partner, and it being a difficult adjustment for me - burst into tears on Dad when he asked how I was, laughed with Aunty M who had asked if I had any ladies on the go. Told them about it, not to get any particular reaction from them, but that they might know me a little - as S says she never knew me. Fancy being strangers after seven years.